Can you imagine feeling as though you are trapped in a body which seems determined to be depressed? Being stuck in a body where no matter how good life may be and how desperate you are to be happy; you still feel overwhelmingly sad. That’s exactly how those with mental health conditions can feel, a lot of their emotions are unexplained which is difficult enough to comprehend themselves but near enough impossible for anyone else.
The brain is built up of four major chemicals which all contribute to inducing the feeling of happiness, these four chemicals are endorphin, dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin. In many cases where these conditions exist, it will be because one or more of these chemicals are low which leads to a chemical imbalance. For this reason, it means people can feel at rock bottom without a particular cause for it.
We all know that throughout life there are ups and downs as it’s a natural part of existence, there are parts which are wonderful and others that are miserable. We can lose a person we love but then we gain another, get hired for a dream job then become made redundant. A person that has a mental illness will feel those same emotions in reaction to circumstances however they will also feel depression, anxiety, fear and hopelessness at times when there is no trigger.
Mental health is finally becoming more acknowledged however there's still an underlying belief that emotional pain is only be accepted if the person can explain why it’s there. Our brains are very complex, and we don’t have a great deal of control over our emotions. This means sometimes no matter how many great relationships you have, how big your house is or how successful you are in your career it doesn’t guarantee happiness.
I find this to be one of the most frustrating factors of my condition because there are times when you feel so low and worthless, but you know in your heart that there are many good things in your life. It’s incredibly deflating when you know how blessed you are but it’s as if those things don’t mean anything.
The fact we have very little understanding of this subject leads to constant questioning from outsiders which eventually ends up making you question yourself. So many people I speak to with the same condition say that no one believes them because it doesn’t visibly seem like they’re struggling. We’re used to thinking there’s a stereotypical character of someone with this illness who will look as though they don’t look after themselves, always looks down and don’t have much going for them. In our current climate more so than ever before a lot of sufferers are high functioning; which means the obvious signs won’t be there. We must learn to look past how a person’s life may look from the outside and be aware of there could be more there than meets the eye.
Unfortunately, medical professionals aren’t a great deal better at this either and the biggest questioning often comes from our doctors. Due to the fact they will see you for a 15-minute window once, which on that day you may feel okay. It feels like they almost need to see a person physically breaking down and crying to agree there’s a problem. Before I received my correct diagnosis of bipolar disorder it was without a doubt the worst year of my entire life. Every single doctor or psychiatrist I saw never believed me, they would say over and over how my life seemed too perfect to be depressed. I would come away from every appointment feeling even more lost than before because I knew something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t get anyone to listen. I truly believe this caused me greater pain as I already felt like I was losing my mind and not even having a professional see my pain worsened those thoughts. The terrible thing is that it wasn’t until id become so unwell that I attempted suicide that someone finally believed me and the saddest thing of all, is I’m not the only person this has been the case for. I am lucky enough to have not needed to see a psychiatrist or doctor for many years now so I’m sure things have moved on and improved but it’s something I will never forget.
Of course, it’s an extremely complex concept to try to understand how a person can feel suicidal but can’t explain why I do believe as a society we’re improving but there’s still confusion. There can be good days, average days and dreadful days, it’s always different there’s no pattern. A person can have days where they will lay in bed crying for hours when the day before they were fine. They can wake up feeling suicidal when they went to sleep as happy as can be. They can count down the days to a holiday and end up feeling completely numb throughout.
What’s important to know, is that no matter how frustrating it may be for you I promise you it’s a million times more infuriating for them. The best thing you can do is keep calm and always show them you’re trying to understand, just that willingness to learn feels more supportive than anything. For anyone, we don’t openly know who is struggling, be cautious of the fact a person won’t always show obvious signs of their difficulties but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.
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